My heart has been aching for you all this past week and it will always have a place for you. As I watched the rain pour down this morning during the ceremony in remembrance of those that were lost I knew they were tears from Heaven as God was crying for your loss. You are not supposed to bury your child! This letter is not meant to provide any answers for you because I don’t have them and just so you know neither will anyone else. There are no words that can truly help you in this time. I know it feels like your life has been ripped apart and shattered. You are now a member of a group that I would not ask my worst enemy to join. It is my burning desire and wish that you find comfort in the one thing that I know for sure! You will see your little Angel again in Heaven someday!

It will be 8 years this coming may since we lost our little boy, Hunter, from a massive seizure that took his life and all of the joy that he provided away from us. I have to tell you that when it comes to losing your child ‘Time does not heal that wound’. Some people will tell you that it will get better with time but it doesn’t. I don’t mean to sound harsh but I am not going to lie to you. Although it was almost 8 years ago, not a day goes by where I don’t deeply miss my little boy. There is a massive hole in my heart and soul that will never go away. I hurt for you knowing that Christmas is a few days away and you will have presents under the tree for your child and a stocking with their name on it hanging on the fireplace (we still do). Holidays and Birthdays are the most painful but you must have faith and believe that their spirit will always be with you.

I have heard it said (and agree) that with time you will become ‘comfortably numb’ and you will find a ‘new sense of normalcy’ in your lives. I have also heard people say that they don’t know how a parent loses a child and even goes on, but you must go on, you must cling to your spouse, your family and your true friends. There will be those that ignore you because they don’t know what to say. It really hurt our feelings at first but over time we learned that some people just can’t bring themselves to do it. It almost feels like you have a disease that they are afraid they might catch. To everyone that knows you I implore them to reach out to you and just say ‘I am deeply sorry for your loss’ and I am here for you if you ever need someone to listen. Don’t try to come up with words to console the parents because unless you have lost a child you don’t have any. And frankly I pray that you never do!

The emotional roller coaster you will be on for the rest of your lives will run the course of anger, deep pain, depression, and everything else. I strongly encourage you to talk with someone about your pain. My wife and I went to grief counseling and it was the best thing we could have ever done. We are still married today and we are closer than ever. Hold on to each other and your Faith! There will be times when you feel like you just can’t go on, but you have to! You would be dishonoring your child’s memory if you don’t keep living your life and showing your child that you haven’t forgotten them. The days ahead will be extremely hard and even years from now you will feel like it just happened. I know this letter will not provide the solace you so desperately need right now but I want you to know that unfortunately there are a lot of us out there. Please seek out the counseling and support you will need during this time!

These are the words of the Kenny Chesney song, ’Who You’d Be Today’, I know they will hit you as hard as they do me “Sunny days seem to hurt the most, I wear the pain like a heavy coat, I feel you everywhere I go, I see your smile, I see your face, I hear you laughing in the rain, I Still can't believe you're gone, It ain't fair you died too young, Like a story that had just begun, but death tore the pages all away, God knows how I miss you, All the hell that I've been through, Just knowing no one could take your place, Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today, Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams? Settle down with a family? I wonder, what would you name your babies? Some days the sky's so blue I feel like I can talk to you …. The only thing that gives me hope is I know, I'll SEE YOU AGAIN SOMEDAY”.

There is no one who deserves a free pass to Heaven more than the innocent souls of children. “Let the little children come to Me; don’t stop them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the Kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Mark 10:14-15) I know that my little boy welcomed your children with open arms to their forever home.

May God bless you and provide you some comfort, Robb Nelson